Dave

I always wonder, when someone asks you "how was your day?" do they want the REAL answer? or just the generic "good, how was yours?" reply ---well, I think my date last night would have rather gone with the generic answer.

In my adventures in dating, I try not to censor myself ---I feel that I should be myself with nothing holding me back and would hope that the other person would do the same. No games. But again, I look at some of the things that happen to me that makes me think, just maybe I should keep certain things to myself and not share so much.

I had made plans to go out with Dave Saturday night. I had not called to confirm the date yet and I assumed the perfect time to call and confirm was while waiting impatiently outside of a friend's house waiting for her to come down so that we could meet up with some friends. One of my pet peeves is when people are not ready in a timely manner. As I dialed and the phone began to ring, I thought to myself, this is not the best time to be calling him ---first conversation with this guy and I'm calling him as I sit in my car annoyed.

"Hello?"
"Hi Dave it's me."
"Well, hi! How are you? What are you doing"
[here is when your internal censor should kick in, granted it's the first EVER conversation with this guy]
"Well, I'm sitting outside in my f*cking car waiting for this damn girl to get her f*cking ass out here. I hate it when people take too f*cking long to get out of their house. Oh great, here she comes...I gotta go, just confirming for tomorrow night. I'll see you then. Bye"

Then it hit me ---perhaps not the best first impression. Shit.
Well, there was still some hope for this one. Moments later I get a text from him, "Props for calling and cursing like a sailor." Ok...we're still on. We're good.

I ended up having a rough morning the next day and almost cancelled the date ---first dates after a long harsh day = not very fun and doesn't showcase you at your best. What do I mean by harsh? I mean being woken up early morning by your credit card company hassling you about payments that you had already made but was not registered in their 'system' and having to explain it to twelve different agents. Yes, 12, you didn't read that wrong. It means going out with your elderly grandmother who has an 'accident' out in the public bathrooms which results in you having to clean feces. Yes, I said it. Feces. So...trust me when I said I had a rough morning.

I arrived at the restaurant just on time and met Dave at the bar. Cute. And my cursing rampage seemed to have workd, he was ceratinly there on time. Hug, take a seat, waiter brings out the water and things begin to go down hill.

Such an innocent question ---I'm sure he didn't expect me to answer as I did.

"So...how has your day been?"
I tried. I really did. I tried so hard to hold my tongue and not start rambling about it all. The 12 people working at the call center somewhere in India calling me about my credit card payments. The poop. Oh god, yes, the poop.

After a long pause, I realized I just can't keep quiet. It's just not my style. I can't hold back...
"I was hoping you wouldn't ask me...but now that you have, I have to tell you..."
and on I went for about 15 minutes. The credit card. The poop. The smell. The cleaning. I spared no details.

By the time I was done with my rant, the food arrived at our table and it hite me: my first time ever speaking to this guy, I blew up with numerous F-bombs and here I was talking about wiping poop off of an elderly person in a handicap stall of the bathrooms at Costco --all before we ate. Great.

I apologized about the excessive details of the poop. We got through dinner and he seemed to have been trying really hard to speed everything along. I didn't blame him.

As I got in my car I was thinking: things come in threes. Credit card issue. Poop. I was waiting for one more.

Ah yes, and there it was. An earthquake.
The perfect ending to a perfect date.
Great.

Or so I though ----I got home to find the biggest piece of the greenest possible thing in our food stuck in my front tooth. Really? How do you NOT tell someone when they have such a huge green thing stuck in their teeth?! For god's sake it must have been there for an hour by the time I got home!! Just for that, I don't feel bad talking about poop in detail before dinner.