Duck Lips

ok, so last night my lip was red and tingly...no no, not herpes...for some reason this one lipstick (i dont really know where it came from, i just had it) always made my lips sting...and it has a cinnamon taste to it, so i thought it might be like that painful/pleasant sting that Big Red gum has...

anyway, i woke up this morning lookin like i had a bad lip job with my upper lip swollen and kinda red...i looked like a duck.

first thing i did when i came to work, i looked up WTF this lipstick is: http://www.bellabeauty.net/Lips/plumperscopy.gif

"A sweet mix of cinnamon and honey delivers just the right amount of sting to give lips that just-been-kissed plump"

fuck that!

ok, so don't use that. I'll go back to holding up the ice to my face now....

happy freakin friday,
Duck Girl

Welcome To Single Life!

So...my last relationship ended on my birthday. After 2 yrs and 1 month. I'm very hard to please as far as people striking my fancy and me finding them entertaining. I figured my Ex was out screwing everything that walked so I felt like I HAD to go on a date. So, I finally decided that I would go to dinner with a regular customer from the bar I part-time work at.

We go to dinner. He talked. A LOT. Seriously, A LOT. I ate sushi. He kept talking...the end.

Fast forward 2 weeks: Yesterday I was having lunch with my mother, the phone rings, some random number so I didn't pick up. When my mom went to the bathroom, I checked my voicemail.

"Hi...It's Derrick. Just calling to say hi...::pause::.....um...I just had to call to tell you that I'm married...I felt like it's a slimy thing to not tell you...feel free to tell all the girls I flirt with at the bar I'm married...you know, Mary....:pause: well, she doesn't give me the time of day...and Jenn...even though she has a boyfriend...he's cool...I flirt with her anyway..." etc....

First date after 2 and a half years....and he's married. I had no intentions with him...I just wanted to go out with someone. ANY one. Nice.

Welcome to single life.

Self Exploding Puppy

I had a really odd dream last night...I've been wanting a kitty for a while now...so in my dream i was in search of the perfect kitty....a smokey grey one with bright blue eyes. so after going from place to place i finally found the most sweetest kitty with the brightest blue eyes! at the same time, this tiny tiny blue pitbull type puppy showed up who was running around the room. Right when i saw him i totally fell in love with him and he was the most precious thing EVER. I was watching him run around and he did this weird hiccup thing, and seemed to throw up what looked like calamari...minus the breading...so it looked like he threw up squid rings basically (if that makes any sense) So obviously i got concerned and asked this lady in the room if the puppy was ok cuz he just threw up or something. She calmly tells me that he just self-exploded, that these types of puppies do that occasionally. I stared at the mooshy-puppy-squid-ring mess and told the lady how sad i would be if i had taken the puppy home and he had exploded on my floor in my room. She said that it's just how those puppies are and that you never know when, or if, they were going to self-explode, that it's just a chance you take with those dogs. I thought about it for a while...and then said "OK" and took the kitty and left. ---------i wonder what a dream dictionary has to say about self-exploding puppy dogs.

the most evil thing my mother has EVER done.

i got home the other night & she told me to look out the side kitchen window. there was a suzuki motorcycle. my dad has been wanting to get a bike for the longest time, and we dont allow him, cuz we dont want him to get hurt --he's a very distracted driver. i flipped out at how amazing it was that she bought him the motorcycle. (he's out of town right now) i was totally flipping out askin how the hell she got the bike home, how did she buy it on her own, etc, etc...THEN she takes me to my sis' room and shows me the jacket, gloves, boots, helmet, EVERYTHING...i proceed to freak out about how amazingly fantasically awesome it was and how happy he was gonna be. Mind you, she was taking pictures of my reaction the entire time like an excited paparazzi.

then she started laughing her head off and said it was my sister's friend's stuff and she was JUST KIIIIDDDING!!! and then started telling me how 'funny' it would be if my dad had come home right then and thought it was for him!!how EVIL!!! hah!!!!

A Bit About Me

TEN Random Things About Me...
10. My left eye is a couple shades lighter than my right
9. I was deathly afraid of water when i was a little kid
8. I had a duck for a pet...whom i fed chicken
7. I once peed on a couple hamsters
6. I was a little chubby baby, then i got super super sick... and ended up skinny
5. I've been obsessed with monkeys since i was little
4. I pick at my fingers a lot when im bored/mad/stressed and end up with nasty bloody fingers
3. I fell and hit my head on the side of a curb when i was little and got stiches
2. I had braces for 3 yrs, and now i have a permanent retainer on my bottom teeth
1. I have to sleep with a some kind of blanket on me, even if its hot as hell

NINE places i've visited:
9. China
8. Turkey
7. Canada
6. Malaysia
5. France
4. Germany
3. Iran
2. Mexico (Puerto Vallarta, Ensenada)
1. US (Vegas, NY, D.C., Philly, Miami, Maryland, Virginia, Puerto Rico)

EIGHT things i wanna do before i die...
8. More traveling
7. Own a house over looking the beach
6. Give a huge chunk of money to charity----assuming i'll be rich
5. have my own puppy and a monkey
4. Own a Corvette, BMW, Mercedes, and a Chevy truck
3. Learn to surf
2. Volunteer at hospitals and old people homes
1. Meet my true love

SEVEN ways to win my heart...
7. Be confident
6. Be caring & romantic
5. Be ambitious & have direction and goals
4. Be HONEST & trusting
3. Good listener & Be able to talk to me about anything & everything
2. Open minded & friendly
1. Have a sense of humor

SIX things i believe in...
6. Karma
5. Soulmates
4. Love
3. That hard work does pay off
2. My instincts
1. Me

FIVE things i'm afraid of...
5. Death
4. Pain --mostly emotional
3. Failure
2. Disappointment
1. Love

FOUR of my favorite items in my bedroom...
4. My bed
3. My speakers
2. My decorations
1. My candles

THREE things i do everyday...
3. make someone laugh
2. put on chapstick
1. boogie down in the shower

TWO things i'm not tryin to do right now...
2. Work
1. Evaluate things

ONE person i want to see right now...
1. ---blank---