This single-hood is getting more ridiculous by the day...does this happen to everyone or is it just me? Please tell me that everyone has gotten a guy's tongue jabbed in their eye at SOME point? Numerous times? ...no? oh....
Well, since the last posting the online dating site subscription has expired. Thank god. I feel so free from it now actually. I hate those kinds of awkward blind date type scenerios! It's like going on countless first job interviews. Towards the end I decided to go for guys I wouldn't normally go for --come on, give the "nice" guys a chance, maybe their personalities will win me over. Nice guys are like fungus ---initially you aren't attracted to them, but you just have to wait around long enough for them to eventually grow on you.
Some women want a guy to do anything and everything the woman wants to do, to agree with everything she says, to worship the ground she walks on! For me, that actually bothers me a little --especially when he doesn't even know me! How can you tell me how amazing I am when you've talked to me for a total of 10 minutes?! That's just so superficial and purely physical. And if I don't want to rip your clothes off and jump you when I see you ---I'm automatically out. If that sexual attraction isn't there, I don't really care how "nice" you are! Face it, this is probably the best you will ever look, it is all down hill from here! So if I wouldn't want you to touch me now, it probably isn't going anywhere. And the girly-men??? Oh gosh no!!! I want my guy to be kind and sweet ---but at the same time look like he could take down a bear and fight off burglars.
Anyway, so aside from all that ramblings...obviously since I have no potential guys in MY radar at the moment, what's the next best thing? Help out my girl friends with their men issues.
Yes, Wing woman.
I try to help my girls out as much as possible --sure, I'll take one for the team....up to a certain point. When the guy is so drunk that he french kisses my EYE instead of my mouth ---several times---that's when I call it quits. And what do you think is the most efficient way to get a guy (no matter how drunk he is) is to step off? Easy!!! One simple sentence:
"Oh gosh....I really could use a new tampon right about now...."
Very sobering.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Ghost from the Past
Adolescence is a strange time. Some times when I think back on things I wore, things I did, and the things I got myself into----it's pretty amazing that at that time I thought there was nothing wrong with it. I mean, come on now, what's wrong with dating a drug dealer at a very very young age?? I thought I was hot shit. Sitting on my guy's lap in a FUBU jersey at a pool party where no one went in the water and everyone played dominoes being called "baby boo" --isn't that what everyone else was doing at that age? Anyway, that didn't end so well ---it got to the point where cops were pulling my mother over in the streets to tell her she needs to get me to stop hanging out with this guy. Yeah, that bad. To me though? "he's so NICE" --up until one day it all clicked in my head --"WTF am I DOING?!?" and that was the end of that. Never looked back.
That was 11 years ago. Yesterday I walked out of my parents' house and this blue shiny brand new BMW was stopped at the stop sign, "Hey girl..." I look over and wow, a ghost from the past. Guess who has 3 children, is a COP now, and guess what --lives around the block from me. Wow. Um...married for 8 years but not in a happy marriage and started giving me the "I should have been a better person 10 years ago" crap. So strange --I was just standing there listening to him talk and looking at him thinking, WTF did I see in this guy?!?!?! Sheesh!!!
The second he gives me a hug goodbye, my parents pull up to the house and give the best stink eye ever. And the first thing out of their mouths the next morning was, "what was that drug dealer doing outside the house??"
great.
some things should just be left in the past....and not live around the block.
Gross.
Every time an ex-boyfriend comes out of the wood-works and pokes their ugly head in my life, one song plays in my head: "You Keep Me Hanging On" by the Supremes
That was 11 years ago. Yesterday I walked out of my parents' house and this blue shiny brand new BMW was stopped at the stop sign, "Hey girl..." I look over and wow, a ghost from the past. Guess who has 3 children, is a COP now, and guess what --lives around the block from me. Wow. Um...married for 8 years but not in a happy marriage and started giving me the "I should have been a better person 10 years ago" crap. So strange --I was just standing there listening to him talk and looking at him thinking, WTF did I see in this guy?!?!?! Sheesh!!!
The second he gives me a hug goodbye, my parents pull up to the house and give the best stink eye ever. And the first thing out of their mouths the next morning was, "what was that drug dealer doing outside the house??"
great.
some things should just be left in the past....and not live around the block.
Gross.
Every time an ex-boyfriend comes out of the wood-works and pokes their ugly head in my life, one song plays in my head: "You Keep Me Hanging On" by the Supremes
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