The Wing Woman

This single-hood is getting more ridiculous by the day...does this happen to everyone or is it just me? Please tell me that everyone has gotten a guy's tongue jabbed in their eye at SOME point? Numerous times? ...no? oh....

Well, since the last posting the online dating site subscription has expired. Thank god. I feel so free from it now actually. I hate those kinds of awkward blind date type scenerios! It's like going on countless first job interviews. Towards the end I decided to go for guys I wouldn't normally go for --come on, give the "nice" guys a chance, maybe their personalities will win me over. Nice guys are like fungus ---initially you aren't attracted to them, but you just have to wait around long enough for them to eventually grow on you.

Some women want a guy to do anything and everything the woman wants to do, to agree with everything she says, to worship the ground she walks on! For me, that actually bothers me a little --especially when he doesn't even know me! How can you tell me how amazing I am when you've talked to me for a total of 10 minutes?! That's just so superficial and purely physical. And if I don't want to rip your clothes off and jump you when I see you ---I'm automatically out. If that sexual attraction isn't there, I don't really care how "nice" you are! Face it, this is probably the best you will ever look, it is all down hill from here! So if I wouldn't want you to touch me now, it probably isn't going anywhere. And the girly-men??? Oh gosh no!!! I want my guy to be kind and sweet ---but at the same time look like he could take down a bear and fight off burglars.

Anyway, so aside from all that ramblings...obviously since I have no potential guys in MY radar at the moment, what's the next best thing? Help out my girl friends with their men issues.
Yes, Wing woman.

I try to help my girls out as much as possible --sure, I'll take one for the team....up to a certain point. When the guy is so drunk that he french kisses my EYE instead of my mouth ---several times---that's when I call it quits. And what do you think is the most efficient way to get a guy (no matter how drunk he is) is to step off? Easy!!! One simple sentence:
"Oh gosh....I really could use a new tampon right about now...."
Very sobering.