Benefits of Singlehood...

When you're single, you don't have to worry about situation like this one.

Friend : i have the best story ever
Me: me too
Me: you go first
Friend: ok
Friend: so last night i was talking to my friend's roommate
Friend: one of his girl-friends (just a friend) confided in him about her really bad breakup
Friend: she went to the doctor because she had a really strange rash and blisters on her JJ and all around her mouth
Me: oh nooooooo
Friend: but it was weird and of course she freaked out b/c her bf had it doo
Friend: so she goes to the doctor
Me: OH NOOOO
Friend: and they're baffled
Me: herpes?
Friend: it is all the signs of an std, but it wasn't anything they had seen before in someone like her.....
Friend: so he asks her
Friend: brace yourself
Friend: "are you ever around dead people?"
Me: ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Friend: and she's like... um......... excuse me??
Me: EH?!?!?!?!?!?
Friend: and he said that they tested her vagina, and she had a rare form of mite infestation that only grows on dead people
Friend: so she is like, um no....
Friend: and then she's like
Friend: oh wait
Friend: my boyfriend works at the hospital’s morgue
Me: ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Friend: !!!!!!!!!
Me: FUCKING GROSS
Me: DUDE
Me: EUUU
Me: HOLY SHIT
Friend: her boyfriend was banging the dead people
Me: IM GONNA VOMIT
Me: HOLY FUCK
Me: SHUT THE HELL UP
Friend and it is only transmitted through sex
Friend: or close friction/contact
Me: LOL
Me: JESUS
Friend: that's the best story ever right?
Me: wow
Me : um
Friend: so she dumps him, tells her close friends and then tells other people b/c she's so pissed off she had to let ppl know how fucked up he is
Me: lol
Me: jesus....
Friend: ok you're turn
Me: fuck that
Me: my story is nothing compared to that