Here We Go Again!

Well...It's that time again. Three years have gone by and another relationship reached it's expiration date. It's a little strange, but all my long term relationships seem to go bad like a bag of produce at the three year mark. The last one was really great when it was great and when it wasn't, well it was sexless and full of booze (on his end) and arguments caused by his habits. Yes yes, I do accept responsibility for some of the things that lead to it's conclusion, but the fault was in no way 50/50. But hey, who's keeping score?? Let's keep the game going!!

Since the break up there's been a couple new players: The Long Distance. The Arrangement. The Gay One. and The Beard. There definitely hasn't been "The One" but there sure as hell have been "the stories..."

The Long Distance: he's a repeat from previous posts...been in the picture on and off with no romantic side to it from my end. When the last relationship ended, he popped up out of nowhere with a proposed Vegas getaway --PERFECT! We had a lot of fun and I liked what he had going on in the bedroom department but he's too far away so it won't amount to anything. It was a great weekend and a kick off of the Single Season though!

The Arrangement: now this one is like a Unicorn. Something you hear about and wish you could have one day but it's next to impossible to experience and something out of a story book. Yes ladies & gentlemen, I'm talking about a booty call. A strictly sex, no emotions, no hanging out outside of what it is, no mingling with each other's circle of friend kind of booty call. This Unicorn of a relationship has lasted about 11 years and magically goes away when a boyfriend enters the picture with no questions asked and magically reappears when that boyfriend is out of the picture. It makes my heart happy just typing out it's fantastic-ness. Anyway, The Arrangement is fully back in place and working out fantastically while the search for "The One" continues...

The Gay One: After some talk with girl friends, the possibility of online dating came up again and I figured, why not?? let's give it another shot! There was a guy that seemed interesting enough and a good way to break in the dating thing again...with just one tiny obstacle though when we finally met --I'm 98% sure he was gay. I have never had a guy so interested in what product I put in my hair, talk about how "Dreamy" Daryl from Walking Dead is (and he had a shirtless Daryl as his phone screen saver) and he was into Cosplay. Believe it or not, I gave him a second chance thinking maybe he was so nervous the first date that it made him sound gay. Second date and more talk of "dreamy" and "handsome" men made me realize he was more than likely sitting across from the wrong sex.

and then, there was The Beard: He had funny pictures with various degrees of facial hair on his profile, really clever & funny profile and seemed in line with my sense of humor. After three days of texting about what we want in a relationship, what didn't work with the last one and other deep rooted questions, he asked me to send him a picture of myself right at that moment. I joked about if he wanted me to hold up a newspaper with the day's date on it to prove it was actually that day and told him to send me one in the meantime. He sent me one in the dark where you can't even see anything but then followed it up with another. Another very ---hairy---picture. Now I know that that stupid show Duck Dynasty is popular (seriously, what's wrong with you America??) but sweet Jesus those beards are NOT popular. This guy had a Duck Dynasty beard and the only thing I could respond was "well, that sure is a lotta beard!!" to which he responded with "this conversation is done. I specifically put in my profile that I will not shave my beard. You have wasted my time and your. GOOD LUCK!" Over react much? :) He went on to say that his main profile picture he has a beard in it so I should've known --it was a bit confusing for me because in his profile picture he was also dressed up as Jesus (don't judge me, yes, it was Jesus and I thought it was 'funny' and went along with it) but with how irate he sounded, I didn't think it was a great time to bring up the Jesus factor. Instead let him know he has a handsome face under all that fuzz and good luck.

I'm so excited to see what more 2014 has to offer...Welcome to the Dating Life in your 30s!

CHEERS!